Its Not Dependency

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Sat Sep 16, 2023 · 301 words · 2 min

I read a short poem by Jean Little, titled "Oranges".

I peel oranges neatly.
The sections come apart cleanly, perfectly in my hands.

When Emily peels an orange, she tears holes in it.
Juice squirts in all directions.

“Kate,” she says, “I don’t know how you do it!”

Emily is my best friend.
I hope she never learns how to peel oranges.

On the first read, its playful friendship. On the fifth, one may call it a dependency inducing toxic bond.

On the other end of spectrum, I ponder over something else. Is it not toxic to expect my partner to be an embodiment of perfection? What am I if not the one to fill her gaps?

Life isn't about rushing to perfection every second. Perfect persons make good business partners, but not necessarily the best life partners. Its the tiny quirks someone else notices and falls in love with. Anyone can provide the standard parameters - money, body etc. But its my quirks that make me unique.

Life is about revelling in the tiny details that we won't find in anyone else.

While the theory of provider and receiver in relationships is indeed flawed, one shouldn't extend this frame of reference to every little facet. Many times, good people don't want to correct their partner 24x7.

Rather, they want to instill a sense of inner satisfaction in their partner, that they'll be accepted and loved in spite of their natural flaws. Don't we all have our own tiny quirks? Nobody is perfect and self sufficient. Not just relationships, but even large societies have remained woven together in harmony on the basis of the natural act of completing each other.

Its not called 'dependency'. Its called 'completing each other'.

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